A Better Way to Introduce Your Friends at Parties

Sometimes I let my vocation boss around my self-esteem.

When I’m satisfied with my work, I feel like a rockstar. When I’m working under my potential or my strengths and assets aren’t recognized, I can feel like a speck of lint.

I’m not what I do, but especially living in DC area, what you do seems almost more important than who you are. You start to feel this way when at parties you’re introduced as, “Sally the the Social Media Coordinator,” “Joe who works in public health,” or when, right out of the gate you’re asked “So what do you do?” Sure I’m guilty of this too. It’s a great conversation starter, but writer Cadence Turpin reminds us resumes are just paper, people are more than what they do, and she offers:

 A Better Way to Introduce Your Friends at Parties

In an effort to continually remind ourselves we are more than our work, perhaps we should even start introducing ourselves this way.


5 Tips to Guarantee You Don’t Get the Job


In this economy, who really needs a job? Work is icky and offices are boring. So here are 5 tips to guarantee you don’t get the job before you even get an interview.

Proofreading Scmoofreading. Nothing says, “Read no further” like an unproofed cover letter. Try this opening from one my old covers, “Dead Hiring Manager, I’m writing to inquire about . . .” Never heard from that guy.

Key—what? Got your eye on a sweet job? Don’t bother yourself by customizing your cover letter and resume to include job post keywords. You are you! You are unique! And you are perfect for this job . . . just like the 2,000 other applicants. Seriously, keywords? Waist of time.

A thing and some stuff. A guy I once went on a date with reminded me of the importance of speaking vaguely when telling me he was disinterested in seeing me again, “Yeah, so I’ll . . . do . . .  stuff?” When applying for a target job, try using an objective like “I want to work in a place that pays me money to do stuff.”

Leave being professional to the professionals.

Hey, pal! Approach hiring managers like they’re your best friend. That obnoxious combination of informality and smooth charmer usually leaves a lasting impression . . .

I’d wish you luck, but I’m pretty sure you don’t need it.

From Confrontation to Compassion | Love Ann Joy

My article From Confrontation to Compassion is live on Love Ann Joy today.


I talk about a bump in a particularly important relationship and the 5 ways Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend’s book How to Have that Difficult Conversation You’ve Been Avoiding helped us transform conflict into deeper understanding.

If you don’t know Cloud and Townsend, it’s time to meet them. They’re great. Seriously. They offer accessible, yet really profound insight on emotional health and healthy relationships.


Surf over to Love Ann Joy to read From Confrontation to Compassion and, of course, leave a comment!

Review: How to Tell a Story

For the past few months I’ve been on a kick about good communication. I think it’s inextricably linked to good leadership. But what comprises good communication? Is it logic? Frequency? Relevance? Diplomacy? Clarity?

I downloaded Donald Miller’s new eBook How to Tell a Story and gobbled up its 34 pages in about an hour. Miller helps answer my question, suggesting part of clear communication is found in its form–specifically, story form. He explains the simplest structure of story by introducing a fixed plot in which you can insert any character or tension, and use even to organized the events of your day.

Why should we turn mundane daily details into stories? Miller gives the following reasons:

Those who tell good stories:

• Communicate more clearly.
• Write better books, blogs and articles.
• Give better speeches.
• Are chosen as leaders.
• Are never unhappy.
• Are filthy rich.
• Are better looking.
• Experience a sustained feeling of euphoria.
• Can eat gluten without consequences.


Mmm. Gluten.

Miller calls story a “sense-making device,” as our brains are scientifically documented to engage with its organizational structure. In short, “stories cause the brain to come alive.” They can help us make sense of our experiences and communicate them more clearly, which can really come in handy in job interviews, teaching, marketing, fundraising, donor relations, sales, dating, evangelizing, getting your kids to pay attention to you . . . you get where I’m going?

For my 2 cents, How to Tell a Story is well worth $Free.99, and I am excited to incorporate it into my everyday interactions.

Here’s to good stories and great storytellers!

How Your Clothes Could Score You a Job


Remember those networking tips for introverts we talked about last week? I took my own advice and hauled my fanny into D.C. for a media networking event last night. My inner hermit grumbled the whole drive, but I reminded him that I only had to make one or two connections, keep people talking, and it was A-OK to leave early. Plus, I was wearing a bright new dress and my most confidence-inspiring ankle booties–I was ready!

If there is one tip I left off of my list, it’s wear something that makes you feel good.

There are three reasons for this:

  1. If you look good, you feel good.
  2. If you feel good, you’re more confident.
  3. And if you’re more confident, people notice.

I could add a fourth reason too: your personal style can even break the ice! That’s exactly how I met my first connection, and then my second connection, and my third. One even snatched me an hors d’oeuvre as a “best-dressed award.”

After an hour an a half, I had made two solid connections, recruited one person to join my organization’s membership, and exited gracefully. My inner hermit was pleased to be home by 8:30.

Success? I’d say so. I’ll have to write TJMaxx a thank you note.